I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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