it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
