Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's blow job season.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
