Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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