Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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