He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
