The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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