Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
