i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
