i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize