whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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