Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
