We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
