yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
