you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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