I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
