she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
