Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
