if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
