found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
