Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
