I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
