So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
