4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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