You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
