i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
