I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
