I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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