I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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