I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
