You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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