She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
