All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
