never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
