YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
