He kissed a someone with a penis
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
