If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
