girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
