Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize