sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
