So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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