About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
