Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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