singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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