Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
