Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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