Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
