K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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