she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
