I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
