barbara walters just said penis...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
