Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
