I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
