I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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