New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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