i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
its not stalking. its research.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
