You just made me feel so damn special
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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