It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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