I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
