There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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