i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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