Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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