This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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