The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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