Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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