its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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